Something that I've been learning through the intro of 2020 is that the love you receive from others isn't guaranteed. Only the love you put out into the world is.
When people leave our lives, when our friends aren't reaching out, when we aren't being texted, we instinctively assume we are at fault. They don't want us. Something is wrong with us.
We also assign blame to our friends and loved ones because of our hurt.
"Why don't they care enough?", "How could they just drop me like this?", "Don't they care that I'm hurting?".
The thing is, often times these are assumptions that our friends and loved ones often don't even know. How can we expect people to live up to standards we aren't even verbalizing? Likewise, how can we hold people to a standard that excludes the variables of their own lived experiences?
What are THEY going through? Do YOU know what is happening in their life? Have you thought about what is happening with THEIR world?
Often times, when we really do some self analysis, we realize that these are questions we haven't even thought to ask ourselves. But instead, dove straight into self pity. Allowing our hurt hearts to create a haze of inaccuracies about our friends and family that snowball into us isolating ourselves from those closest to us because we believe they don't really care anyway.
I know it does to me. I've lived it all to often.
So how do we escape the mind games?
Love because you can. Love because it matters. Love because there is nothing else.
Stop assuming that your friends don't want that text because you haven't heard from them. INSTEAD, assume that they've been busy, and send a text letting them know you've been thinking of them!
Stop assuming that you aren't wanted, INSTEAD, reach out, and let friends know you would like to have people over.
Intentionally seek out relationship and go out of your way to be the love you want in your own life. Stop WAITING for it to come to you, seek it out, invite it in, and most of all EMBODY IT!
Love is in the little things like being kind to folks at the till when you're cashing out.
Love is in the way you can be involved in your community and be invested in the changes to see growth and prosperity. To see lives changed.
You don't need to wait around for love to happen to you, you can go out and live into it every day.